chances

Chances

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyday we take and give chances. We give them to our kids, our spouse, or friends and sometimes complete strangers. In return we are given the same chances. But all too often the first chance isn't taken seriously and before you know it we are on chance 2,3,4 or even 5!! When is enough enough? How do we determine who get more and who doesn't? Is it based on how close we are to the person? Is it based on the situation? Is it the age of the person? all these things play a role.

 

 

 

I have been given more than my fair share of chances. I have a tendency of taking them for granted from certain people. We all do this. But why? Usually we do it to the people that are closest to us. We know they will give us more because they care about us too much. How horrible is that thought? We continuously hurt our friends and family because we can. That's so shameful yet everyone does it. We don't always realize we are though. We don't always see what we are doing until its too late.

What if we all just did what was right the first time? What if we never needed another chance? Too good to be true? Unfortunately, yes. Its all a learning processing. We first must get that initial chance to do something right then fail and go back and hopefully get it right. Its just a shame that some people give too many chances to those who will never learn that lesson. No matter how many chances are given they don't learn because they know they can just keep failing and all will be forgiven. 

When we do this we hurt ourselves more than anything. One day we will look up and see that we have burned every bridge and if any are left they are hanging on by a thread. We have hurt all those people that mean the most to us. We have tainted their feelings for us. Lowered their expectations of us. Is this the life we want? 

Don't our loved ones deserve better? Don't we deserve better? How about the people that give chances over and over? When do you feel enough is enough? Do you eventually accept that this person will never change? Do you make excuses for them? Do you feel you don't deserve better? What is it about that person that makes them so special to you that they can continuously hurt you? Or do you just hand chances out to everyone. The eternal doormat. 

I'm a giver and a taker. I admit it. Some people I know that no matter how many times I fuck up I will be forgiven and will get another opportunity to fuck up. I'm mostly guilty with my parents. My whole life has been a series of chances. Mostly failed opportunities to do the right thing. I thank my lucky stars that my parents love me unconditionally. Especially thru my darkest hours they were there. We give the same chances to our own kids. Doesn't make it any better. 

I give everyone I meet the benefit of the doubt. I believe the best I'm everyone. I have the innocent until proven guilty mentality. This is probably not the best way to live but when people show you the best even in the worst situation the reward is plentiful. I would rather live my life thinking everyone is capable of being amazing and caring than live a life not trusting anyone. I don't always fuck up. I would hope people look at me as always being capable of amazingness before they think of me as a failure. 

If just for a moment I could go back undo my wrongs and have the wrongs against me undone I would be very happy. But the truth is the wrongs all make us better people. You know what they say "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger." This is true. If you have struggled through something you have also learned from it as well.  

Embrace the bad and good moments. Never stop giving or taking chances. But be mindful if you abuse those chances you are indeed hurting others as well as yourself.